My 28th Lesson

Today is my twenty-eighth birthday. It is special for a number of reasons. There is a new moon and about eight planets aligning all while it is my golden birthday (when you turn the same age as the date of your birthday i.e. 28 on the 28th). I fear I may be the 'chosen one'. Not sure what I have been chosen for... but maybe when I blow out my birthday candles some mysterious person in a hood standing in the corner will hand me an envelope that will have instructions for my new journey to my chosenhood... Or it's just a normal birthday who knows. I will admit, I have the uncontrollable urge to tap into my millennial side (being a millennial/GenZ cusp) and write a 2012 style Pinterest blog of '28 Lessons I Have Learned in 28 Years'. But my GenZ side tells me to refrain. So I shall.

Plus, I have learned FAR more than twenty-eight lessons in my lifetime. I know the whole point would be to pick my top twenty-eight, but still, I have learned so many important lessons I just wouldn't be able to narrow it down.

Maybe the planets have aligned during a new moon on my golden birthday for this lesson though. One word that has transformed my life. A way of being I have pondered through and through. I have allowed it to become my default and though I am still young (yes, anybody below the age of twenty-five reading this.. twenty-eight is STILL young!!) I believe maybe I have found the secret of life I had been searching for for so long, or at least the whole part of my early twenties.

Balance.

Ironic that balance is the lesson I feel most important in my life considering how many people in my life have witnessed me fall down stairs, trip over sidewalks, run into stationary objects, end up with random bruisings, and so so many other moments of lack of balance.

Balance. Where I have learned to build my home. The space I have allowed my soul to rest in. When life is any bit out of control, it is my way of stabilization.

'You swing so far left you end up right'. A phrase I say often to describe most situations. You end up in such a strict diet now you're unhealthy with you're eating habits. You try to heal and validate your hurt so much you end up being a perpetual victim now causing pain for others. And so on and so forth.

We live in a world full of so much information. We can not possibly know everything. I have written before how I live by the advice I got in beauty school, 'never stop learning'. The beauty in the not knowing. But, when we learn something, how do we decide to make it our everything?

And that is what I have learned. Nothing should be my everything.

I like to say we live in a 'headline' society. In truth, we lack critical reading and thinking skills. We have relied on a headline to give us all the information. Here is the secret:

A headline is a hook. Meant to pull you in. That is why so many are so shocking or misleading to the full article. The point of a headline is to make you read the full article and yet- people hardly do anymore. And if you do read the whole article, most times that is where you stop. You don't read opposing articles, search for further information or studies, hell, most people don't even look for the evidence that the article is even correct.

We love shocking headlines and opposing opinions.

So you read an article that you need colostrum to lose twenty pounds and that our body lacks it because lucky charms we ate as a kid took it all out of our body and yada yada ya. (This is all made up, let me be clear). So you spend all your lucky charms money on tons of colostrum. Something that, yeah can be beneficial, but isn't everything. But you make it your everything. Your holy grail.

This is a poor example of the point I am trying to make.

I cook majority of my meals at home, but will never call any food bad or naughty food. Taco Bell has saved me more times than my homemade chicken meatballs ever have. But I know I can not consume solely Taco Bell for the rest of my life. I love to shop for most of my produce at the farmers market because it is fresher and supports local farmers. But dang, sometimes a girl has to get something from Amazon. I thrift majority of my clothes but you will catch me dead before I give up acrylic nails. I hardly go to the doctor when I am sick with the cold or flu because my mom taught me a hot bath and hot tea fixes everything but I am so thankful for modern medicine because it is currently what is saving my kidneys from further damage all while keeping me out of debilitating pain caused by endometriosis.

Life is full of duality. There are bad doctors who just want a paycheck and there are good doctors who studied for years because they want to help people the best way our society is able to. You may have horrible side effects with medicine that saved my life. I had a horrible boss that gave you the promotion and opportunity of a lifetime. Someone who hurt you may have done so because they are projecting their own pain but they can still be held responsible for their actions. I could keep going.

The point is, nothing should be your everything. Have both and. Understand you know a lot but there is always more to learn. Know that there are bad people but not everyone is out to get you. Make space for your feelings but don't let them control and consume you. You can encounter one horrible Christian but it does not mean they are all like that. Just like there can be one criminal immigrant but it does not mean they are all criminals. Eat healthy but please stop eating strictly butter and red meat off a cutting board.

I could go on and on and on.

But balance is also knowing when to stop.

I am twenty-eight and I know more than I have ever known in my life while also knowing I don't know nearly as much as I could.

The moon can control the ocean. The planets can have influence on a number of things. But maybe my life is as beautiful as it is not because of aligned planets during a new moon on my golden birthday. Maybe my life is as beautiful as it is because I have chosen to live my life knowing I don't know everything and I will live this life with love, kindness, and of course,

balance.